Women Of The World

A CAUCASIAN WOMAN:

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMAN:

First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMAN:

First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3 carat ring
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend

JEWISH WOMAN:

First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

POLISH WOMAN:

First Date: You go to pick her up, and she isn't home. She gave you the wrong address.
Second Date: You decide to meet at a restaurant. She gets lost getting to the restaurant and then again going home.
Third Date: She's pregnant. She's not sure if its hers.

CHINESE WOMAN:

First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you have already realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMAN:

First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMAN:

First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you!

LATIN WOMAN

First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get her drunk on Riunite, have sex in the back of her car
Second Date: She is pregnant
Third Date: Move in with her, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and live happily ever after eating rice and beans in the Bronx.

白人女性：

第一次约会：

你可以和她吻别。

第二次约会：

你可以抚摸她的全身。

第三次约会：

你可以和她做爱，但只是用传教士体位。
爱尔兰女性：

第一次约会：

你们两个喝得酩酊大醉并且上了床。

第二次约会：

你们两个喝得酩酊大醉并且上了床。

第三次约会：

你们两个喝得酩酊大醉并且上了床。
意大利女性：

第一次约会：

你带她去看戏剧，然后进一家高档饭店吃饭。

第二次约会：

你见到了她父母，并且在她家吃了一顿家庭便饭。

第三次约会：

你们上了床，她说她愿意嫁给你，不过你至少要送她3克拉的钻石戒指做定情礼物。

结婚5周年：

你已经有了5个孩子，并且对性失去兴趣了。

结婚6周年：

你觉得自己像个修女。
中国女性：

第一次约会：

你带她去吃昂贵的晚餐，但是连她的手都碰不到。

第二次约会：

你带她去吃更昂贵的晚餐，但是连她的手都碰不到。

第三次约会：

你不会和她有第三次约会了。。。因为你已经意识到你占不到任何便宜。
印度女性：

第一次约会：

见到了她的父母。

第二次约会：

订好了结婚的日子。

第三次约会：

婚礼。
黑人女性：

第一次约会：

你请她吃了大餐。

第二次约会：

你请她和她的女伴们吃了大餐。

第三次约会：

你付清了她的欠款。

第十次约会：

她怀孕了，不是你干的。
阿拉伯女性：

第一次约会：

她父亲，她母亲，她兄弟姐妹，她表兄弟姐妹，她叔叔阿姨，她的朋友和整个阿拉伯社会都发现你们在恋爱。

第二次约会：

你被枪杀。

所以没有第三次了。