We Are What We Think We Are
   
  Psychologists tell us that we are what we think ourselves to be. Our self-image defines for us what we believe we can and cannot do. Each of us over the years has built up beliefs about ourselves. Unconsciously, our pictures of who we are have been formed by past experiences. Our successes and failures, what others have told us and what we think people believe about us all help form impressions of who we think we are. Because self-image is so important in our growth, it is important to examine our concepts of self in order to reach our full potential.
 
  A danger is that we often accept as true the wrong images of self. An example is a student who sees himself as “poor in English.” He can be heard to say, “Oh, I’ve never been good in English classes.” Chances are the students failed in an English test at one time in the past. Rather than saying “I failed a test; what can I learn from it?” he began thinking, “I’m a failure; I’ll never do well in English.” Or, perhaps his parents or friends made negative remarks to him about his grades. These are ways that poor self-image develop. In this case the student became what he thought he was.
 
  Change our self-image is possible. Some psychologists suggest we begin to change our self-image by mentally picturing ourselves performing well at some task. Since we presently react to things based on our present images, the suggestion is to replace those with better ones. In many experiments, people were asked to sit quietly for a few minutes each day and imagine themselves doing well at a test. For instance, subjects would sit and imagine throwing darts at a bull’s-eye on a target. Over a period of weeks their dart game improved. This has been done with people who wanted to play chess better, throw a ball more accurately, increase their salesmanship or musical talents, and improve many other skills. In most cases, remarkable improvement is made. That “Poor” English student might have found he was much better in the subject than he thought if he had tried seeing himself as a better student.
 
  The point of changing self-image is not to develop an image of ourselves that is not real. To try to become something we really aren’t is just as wrong as living the unrealistic, inferior image we may have. The aim is to find the “real” self, to bring our mental images of ourselves in line with our true potential. However, it is generally accepted among psychologists that most of us fail to do justice to ourselves. We’re usually better than we think we are.
 
  Try this, set aside 20-30 minutes each day to sit alone quietly and comfortably. Just close your eyes and imagine yourself sitting before a large movie screen. Then picture yourself doing something you want to improve on. This could be test-taking, hitting a backhand stroke in tennis, job interviewing, whatever. Practice seeing yourself doing it correctly and successfully. Make your pictures as real and as vivid as possible. See and hear details, if you can. If you are working on test-taking, for instance, picture the room you are in. See yourself relaxed at a desk. Picture the clothes you are wearing. Hear the sounds of others writing, moving in their seats. Read the questions on the test and imagine yourself writing answers to them. Details are the most important part of practicing an experience. Such an excise helps wipe out poor images and gives you new images or pictures of yourself being successful.
 
  Another important part of changing self-concept is to not think about past mistakes. Don’t let failures do harm. Our errors or humiliations over mistakes are necessary steps in learning. It is all right to make mistakes. But when they have taught us what we did wrong, we should forget them and not dwell on them. Sometimes we keep remembering our failures or mistakes and feel guilty or embarrassed about them. We let them take over, and then we develop a fear. That’s exactly what the “poor” English student allowed to happen.
It is important to have realistic expectations of ourselves. Some of our dissatisfaction might come from expecting too much of ourselves. If we demand constant perfection in everything we do, we can be disappointed. Our poor self-concept will continue. If our goal is to reach perfection, we are doomed from the start.