一、
                                      The Looney Bin
Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"

　　Another one said, "How do you know?"

　　The first inmate said, "God told me!"

　　Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"


[ 此贴被Rivendell在2006-07-31 19:09重新编辑 ]

二、Who was the first Man?


A teacher said to her class:

　　"Who was the first man?"

　　“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly.

　　"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently.

　　"Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen."

　　But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.

　　"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?"

　　"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."

三、Sooner or later



A thief with a long record was brought before the judge.

　　Judge: Have you ever stolen things?

　　Thief: Oh, now and then.

　　Judge: And where have you stolen these things?

　　Thief: Oh, here and there.

　　Judge: Right. Lock him up, officer.

　　Thief: Hey, when do I get out jail?

　　Judge: Oh, sooner or later.

四、Chief is at the wedding


A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain."

　　"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back."

　　"But ,officer, I …."

　　"I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"

　　A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

　　"Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."

五、Why he couldn't leave?


There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally when he was through, there was only one man sitting in the large room.

　　The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room."

　　"Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."