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This morning on Today’s health we are talking about relationship mistakes from dealing with the kids to the bank account. It's not always easy getting along with your significant another, but did you know that some of the mistake you making your relationship connectedly. Take a real serious toll on your health. NBC's chief medical editor, Dr. H and Sex and Relationship expert L.B are here with advance on that. Hi, ladies, good morning to both of you! Simple, right? If you have a bad relationship, you've get stress and tension in your life that impacts your health.
It's a simple of that. I mean that long time ago in medicine we set breed in my body from the physical being which was the damnous thing we ever die. Here miserable relationship, guess what, your body takes it all.
And I think that a lot people got immediately say, well, this must be a stress and tension between a husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend. But you say this can even be that you focusing too much time on your children.
Yes, you know, it's really amazing cause’ we wanna do the best job we can for a kid. We want to take them every after school activities and be the best parents on the PTA and everything else. And it is important to invest our time and energy, but sometimes we go over-border on our other relationships, in particular, our romantic relationship really suffers. And best gift you can give your kids is a model what a good relationship is.
So there's mistake No.1, too focus on children not enough me or us time.
And I think, you know, you have to be a hard parents, soft parents on varies issues. It's so that the kids know that they have somewhere to go to. But if you try to start to see this manipulation all the time, so Mum and Dad always fight it and there's no censuses. *, marriage just breaks up.
Mistake No.2 is pretty closely connected I think to this not make enough time for friends, for social life.
This is bottom of my Great Patsy for Women, they need a "that guy" of whatever dream this day is. And the girls get dump down the weak side. Yeah, and you know what, that's not good for the women whose dumping their girlfriends behind. And you lose a sort of female intendancy in all this times.
And it's for guys to surely make it out a women think.
Yes, happen to both men and women, and this is energy and a self simul, we get from spending time with our friends goes by the wayside when we get busy with kids and marriage and * of everything else. So you have to make it a concerned effort just like you do for your partner, to make time for your friends.
So that's mistake No.2, not enough time for your friends. Mistake No3 is one, you know, people say you always fight about money and sex. Sex not maintaining a healthy sex life can dramatically impact your relationship and your health.
Fifty percent of married people in this country said they are dissatisfy with their sex life and that's important, because we know that men who have sex three more times a week, have a 50% lower chance, have having a heart attack or stroke.
Is that for cardio vascularies?
I mean look, *** are nothing more than blood flow into one part of the body. So if the man is having impotency problems, it may be a window into the heart and entire * system. So if you not using it, you gonna lose it at sex matter.
But also, men associated into messy with sex.
Absolutely, and this is what happens that women lose; they are not interested in sex while they are also women. He loses that way of getting intimating connector. He's less president romantic in the relationship and she’s less interested in sex. So this whole negative cycle * it.
And it is intimacy declines that threatials for anger changes also.
That's right, and we still do like to talk after work. So want you to know that. It's has to be part of it.
The next point is avoid, it's a pitiful for a lot of marriages' relationship you call it financial infidelity. Just define it for me.
I am a big believer that although there should be transparency about money in the relationship. Women have to have their uncheck book. I've been there, I've had money disappeared. I believe that women feel strong about themselves and respect their money more when they have power over the money they earn. You don't share. But boy, women who don't have their uncheck book, I think they are headed for disaster.
And you also can and you have to be really honest, it's so common for men and women to be hidden their expenses, their bills, what they are spending money on. And the impact of that infidelity is sometimes just a powerful sexual infidelity when you hidden those secrets.
It's an acute of trail.
And finally, not setting boundaries get me the example what kind of boundaries should people in relationship be setting.
You don't want to do something you say "No". "No" is complete a sentence. It's a word; it doesn't mean "maybe", it means "no". And you have to feel free in relationship to say “not now".
But there are consequences just to say no...
There are, but then that's why you have conversations afterwards in couple stop talking. And couples who don't have sex, don't try, and goes back and forth and * you can divorce the two.
Absolutely, women don't learn how to say no very easily. We want to be pleaser and that's how we raise. So especially for women as they are reaching, you know, middle age and getting in that* generation when they have older parents to take care, adolescent kids, husband, and house, everything else. You have to learn to set limits and say "no" once or no whiles, you can take care of yourself.
And I think we * our kids especially because we want everybody happy that we end up saying "yes" to so many people, at the end of the day, we are not happy.
We regret, we had learned from L.B and Dr. B. Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
We appreciate it.

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引用第2楼terriblefine于2007-05-25 14:09发表的:
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