President Bush drew laughs at the annual Radio and Television Correspondents' dinner in Washington,D.C.




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I'd like to thank the Radio and TV Correspondents' Association for providing dinner tonight. And I'd like to thank Senator Webb for providing security. [1]

I'm glad to see everybody here is enjoying themselves. Don't think I haven't noticed all the drinking that has been going on. In my State of the Union Address, I said we need to increase the use of ethanol.

Well, where should I start? A year ago, my approval rating was in the 30s. My nominee for the Supreme Court had just withdrawn and my Vice President had shot someone. [2] Ah, those were the good old days. Sorry, the Vice President couldn't be here. He's had a rough few weeks. To be honest, his feelings were kind of hurt. He said he was going on vacation to Afghanistan where people like him. [3]

You and the press certainly have had a lot to report lately, to take the current controversy, I have to admit we really blew the way we let those attorneys go. You know, you've botched it when people sympathize with lawyers. Speaking of subpoenas, it's good to see Speaker Pelosi tonight. You know, some would have wondered how the two of us would get along. Some say she's bossy, she's opinionated, she's not to be crossed. Hey, I get along with my mother. But between the Congress and the press, there is a lot of scrutiny on this job. Not a day goes by that I don't get scrutineered one way or the other. Press is a lot tougher / the second term. It's reached the point I sometimes / call on Helen Thomas just to hear a friendly voice. No matter how tough, I guess, however, I have no intention of becoming a lame duck president, unless, of course, Cheney accidentally shoots me in the leg.

Hey, I have 664 days left in the White House. So technically, I'm a temporary guest worker. Yet, I'm considering what's next, President Clinton of course wrote a very successful presidential memoirs with 10000 pages or some. I'm thinking of something really fun, and creative for mind , you know, maybe a pop-up book. Consider a number of titles, which do you like? "How W. Got His Groove Back?", "Who Moved My Presidency?" or "Tuesdays With Cheney".

By the way, I'm not sure whether or not Senator Obama is here. Last time I heard he was not coming to the radio and TV correspondents' dinner. Not enough press. People Magazine recently had a photo of the senator there on the beach in Hawaii. His sleek hair is packed glistening in the surf. It shows how biased the press is, have you ever seen a shot that, like that of Daniel Hastert . [4]

Who I do, since I do want to say a couple of things and I'm very happy one person who could not be here last year is here tonight. That's Bob Rove. Bob, we know it hadn't been easy. We admire you all the more for what you've overcome and what you are still overcoming. And and Christine in the cold bloom many have known your dad. I know life is hard without him. He was such a fine guy. But one thing we've all seen this evening is he has fine daughters. I know he really, would be really proud of you. Someone who's not here and now is Tony Snow. When Tony called me and told me the outcome of his surgery, my heart just sank. But I know Tony is a fighter. And Tony, we're all looking forward to the day when you come back to the White House.

Last, last week we all heard the news about Elizabeth Edwards. And again, your heart just sinks for what she and her family faces. And so to Bob Rove, the bloom's girls, Elizabeth Edwards, Tony Snow, and of course, our men and women in uniform, Laura and I and millions of other Americans are praying for you and your families. May God bless you and thank you very much.

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A few notes:

[1]: Virginia's Democratic senator, Jim Webb, had to explain this week why an aide was carrying a loaded handgun as he tried to enter a Capitol complex building.
[2]: Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a campaign contributor during a weekend quail hunt on a friend's South Texas ranch.
[3]: Vice President Dick Cheney's recent trip to Afghanistan was marked by a bombing near where he was meeting with officials.
[4]: Daniel Hechter is internationally recognised brand by those who appreciate a sure sense of style, cosmopolitan flair and understated confidence.