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如何成为约会女王
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妖刀村正
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如何成为约会女王
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Posted: 2007-09-16 22:28 |
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We've all heard that a good man is hard to find, but that's certainly dosen't stop a lot of women from trying.
I've been dating since I was 15, I'm exhausted, where is he?
Who? The white knight?
That only happens in fairy tales.
I hear it hurts.
Well, this morning we have some dating advice from an expert. Janis Spindel is a professional matchmaker who just wrote a new book ''How to Date Men? Dating secrets from American’s top matchmaker '' and Rubi Ludwig is a psychotherapist and host of GSN’s Without Prejudice. Good morning, ladies. (Good morning. )Janis, before we get into our discussion this morning, you've successfully matchmade, made more than 760 marriages.
That’s correct. In 15 years, 760 couples married, 45 are on the way this year and I hope to get to 50.
Yeah, and, and they’ve stayed together?
To my knowledge, I have, I would think that I’d be the first one they call if they got divorced. I think everybody is so all right.
So you know what you are talking about. All right. So let’s get to a, I wanna show a graphic because you say something at the very beginning of your book. Ladies, I’ve got news for you because you say if you are still single and frustrated about it, it means one of two things: One, you are super picky. Or two, you are doing something wrong. Explain what you mean by this, Janis. I mean that’s tough. You , you've put the blame on the ladies.
Well, I really believe that men are pickier than women. Women are not that picky. They just want a guy who is intelligent, funny with a great personality which basically means they are doing something wrong.
And are women, is it just that we, we are looking for that white knight? You know, the Mr. Mr. Prince who is gonna come on his white horse(white horse) and save us and take us away.
Doesn’t happen that way unfortunately.
And, and Rubi, in your experience, working with couples as well (Um, um), do you find that women are basically making the same mistakes over and over again, going for the wrong type of guy?
You know, in some cases and some cases, it’s self-esteem. They don’t think enough of themselves, so they can’t appreciate somebody who likes them. And they think there is this fantasy that it will happen automatically(Um, um) and they don’t need to do anything in order to work towards having a relationship and really that’s the most important choice a woman can make. And you do need to put yourself out there and be thoughtful about it in order to make it happen for yourself.
Date different types of guys. Janis, you also remind women that not every man is gonna be interested in you, no matter how beautiful, smart or successful you are. Rejection is a hard thing for women to take. A lot of women are heart-broken when they see that you know, Mr. Handsome is not gonna be that into them. So how do you get past that?
As Rubi said you have self-esteem and confidence and you don’t take it personally. You move on to the next one. You have to be proactive.(Um)
Proactive in a lot, like where you find the right guys to date?
You can find a guy anywhere, at a newspaper stand, at a coffee bar, at a library, at Barnes & Noble Café, walking down the street, in an elevator.
And you could just tell yourself that some guys have bad taste and they are wrong, you just move on.
Exactly, I agree with you. One hundred percent. That’s right.
Sometimes, the guys just don’t realize, too. I mean, maybe you have to just get in their face and say hey, you wanna date me.
I think you need to have faith too that if somebody just doesn’t work out for you, then they are not a right match and somebody better out there is there for you.
To your point, Janis, about being on the lookout always. (always.) When you say there a place, I mean, we know weddings are good places to meet women or to meet men. Dinner, cocktail parties, college alumni events, homes of mutual friends, standing in line at the DMV, that, that’s seems sort of out of the ordinary.
I have met some of the greatest lawyers in the world. It's * its more claims at the DMV.
Take a look at those list, we have one in museums, sporting events. Obviously you are gonna find a lot of guys there, airplanes, all those...(train stations), train stations exactly. So how do you approach them though?
You smile and say hello. You do what I call the hello challenge. All you have to do is have self-esteem and confidence. You smile (yeah).
And there is something to be said about flirting as well and making yourself, you know, just giving that impression that you are available and you like being around men.
And, and interesting, Janis, you also point out to women that on the first date, you say you should wear a skirt. Why? (Femininity) That seems kind of, I know, but it seems sort of old school. You know what I say.
Well, men are used to working all day long with women in business suits and business suits are usually pantsuits. You wanna be feminine, you wanna wear heels, you wanna dress like a woman.
And you also say let them pay?
Absolutely
I say let them pay too ,OK
I am not gonna argue with you all now.
But you know what? Men really do expect to pay(yeah). And if they are not paying, I think it means something suspicious, like they are not taking you seriously (or they don’t like you) or they are not treating you or they don’t like you.
Janis, really quickly, as a matchmaker, I mean, what exactly when, when you meet people, do you have sort of an idea of what they are looking for? I mean how do you make these couples?
I have a sixth sense. I get clear volume premonitions when I have lunch with men every day who they are going to marry.
Very Interesting.
And she is gonna to heaven.
I know she is(right? yes). Absolutely. All right, the book is “How to Date Men” Janis Spindel, thank you, Rubi Ludwig. We/ guests are always for great advice this morning.
Posted: 2007-09-16 22:29 |
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"really believe that men are pickier than women. Women are not that picky. They just want a guy who is intelligent, funny with a great personality"
Girls are not that picky
Girls do come to get this lecture
Posted: 2007-10-03 18:31 |
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