NCE3的41课
  完美满分作文样板
以此帖献给那些写作文完全下不了笔的T友们


(这篇NCE的文章的语言广泛适用语TOEFL写作中的preference题目和同意或不同意题目.文章的本身是写城市生活比乡村的好,根185的有一题是一致的.看我的分析是一部分,非牛们把里边的句子背下来,写作的时候换换主宾就可以直接使用!效果很好!)


The quiet life of the country has never appealed to me(第一句清楚的称述自己的观点,但是没有用模版式的agree or disagree或者I like, I do not like之类的). City born and city bred(经典句子,作文的highlight,在别的地方同样可以移植类似的结构), I have always regarded(避免了使用think这样的词汇,以后大家要写think的时候,就用regard as) the country as something you look at through a train window(细节的具象化,ETS不喜欢那些抽象的大道理却偏好这些很具体的小细节,这也就是为什么所有的Topic里边都有一个specific的原因了), or something you occasionally(副词的使用充分的表达作者的感情和限定成分,同时避免了sometimes这种相对常见的使用) visit during the weekend. Most of my friends live in the city, yet they always go into raptures at the mere mention of the country(超强的句子!go into rapture,这里用一个很动感的短语表现了friend的狂喜,同时使用了always和mere两个词构成鲜明的对比,表达很生动!). Though they extol the virtues(赞美的高级说法,用一个3词的短语替代一个干瘪的praise,不仅在字数上多了,而且表达更好) of the peaceful life, only one of hem has ever gone to live in the country and he was back in town within(within虽然不是什么高级的东西,但是大家常常忘记用,或者根本没有用within的意识) six months. Even he still lives under the illusion(under the illusion活在幻想之下,这个短语本身就很好,同时,大家在写作时也可以用:a multitude of people live under the illusion that A is superior to B, however, from my perspective…) that country life is somehow superior to town life(somehow也是好词!当你要说有的人荒谬的观点时,就可以说:why some deem A as the optimal choice and somehow superior to B is really beyond me.). He is forever talking(be forever doing,当强调一个动作的时候,这是很好的,be doing比一个单一的do来的强烈得多) about the friendly people, the clean atmosphere(atmosphere的使用避免的用俗了的environment), the closeness to nature and the gentle pace(gentle pace, gentle完美的形容了乡村生活,准确而生动的形容词使用) of living. Nothing can be compared(又学到了,无与伦比的说法,在表达自己肯定的观点的时候可以使用), he maintains, with the first cockcrow, the twittering of birds at dawn, the sight of the rising sun glinting on the trees and pastures. This idyllic pastoral scene is only part of the picture(only part of the picture,仅仅是问题的一个方面,这个短语是很常用的!). My friend fails to mention(这里用fail to do替代了does not do,因为does not do实在太低级了,而fail to do则是好很多) the long and friendless(漂亮的使用) winter evenings in front of the TV(又是一个具体的细节,很符合ETS的口味) -- virtually (在写作中actually这个概念是很容易出现了,这里使用了virtually替换,避免了撞车)the only form(看来唯一的方式不仅仅只是the only way, 这里又用了一个替换,避免了过于普遍的用词) of entertainment. He says nothing(ATTENTION:作者一直没有用does not,却两次表达了否定,say nothing肯定比does not say来得好) about the poor selection of goods in the shops, or about those unfortunate people who have to travel from the country to the city every day to get to work. Why people are prepared to tolerate a four-hour journey each day for the dubious privilege of living in the country is beyond me(注意这里的why…beyond me这种用法,在你要反驳一种观点的时候是很有用的). They could be saved so much misery and expense if they chose to live in the city where they rightly belong(其实这是一个作文结尾的不错模版,可以避免单一乏味的重复).

　　If you can do without(do without,把…方在一边,很强的用法,写作的时候需要反驳一方并支持另一方的时候可以用,如:If you can do without the dubious merits of A, you will swiftly find B…) the few pastoral pleasures of the country, you will find the city can provide you with the best that life can offer. You never have to travel miles to see your friends. They invariably(invariably是我强烈推荐的always的替换,这个词是人家很常用的) lie nearby and are always available for an informal chat or an evening's entertainment. Some of my acquaintances(避免了friends的重复) in the country come up to town once or twice a year(具体的次数其实就是details,大家记住:once or twice绝对比several times好很多,这样才可以体现出你文章的specific,不要认为这些小的地方可以忽视,其实在文章中注意细节,是可以make a difference的!) to visit the theatre as a special treat(特殊待遇). For them this is a major operation which involves(involve这个词大家都知道,却不常用) considerable(elaborate也不错) planning. As the play draws to its close(draw to its close,接近的意思,避免了过于大众的come to the end), they wonder(wonder也是一个建议多用的词汇) whether they will ever catch that last train home. The city dweller never experiences(experience, undergo和suffer两个词汇最好是有机会就用,没有机会创造机会用,ATTENTION: undergo, suffer是经历不好的事) anxieties of this sort(没有出现kind). The latest exhibitions, films, or plays are only a short bus ride away(a short bus ride away,用具体的描写替代了nearby这个概念,这是大家应该学习的,以后形容近就可以说:A is only a couple of minutes walk away). Shopping, too, is always a pleasure. There is so much variety that you never have to make do with(make do with,相信这是大家几乎没有听说过的用法,就是凑合着用的意思,和有用的用法,你可以写:Via the help of B, one will never have to make do with XXX) second best. Country people run wild(run wild是使用避免了crazily这个干瘪的词,如果你能够用frantically当然也很好)
    when they go shopping in the city and stagger home loaded with as many of the exotic items as they can carry(OMG,这个句子很具体的写出了乡村人的不幸,作者用了stagger蹒跚,loaded with装载,as many as they can多, exotic items外来物品,4个概念组成了一幅农民进城的生动画面,阅卷人就喜欢这样的有details<details在TOEFL考试中其实是很重要的一个东西,简直是crucia>)句子,以后大家想要形象的描写一个东西就可以按照这个句子的模式来些). Nor is the city without its moments of beauty(双重否定表肯定,用这样的句子就可以显示出你的语言功底,同时要提醒的是moments of xxx这个用法是要一有机会就用的,比如你先说B有什么不好,再说A很好,你就说Nor is A without its moments of XXX). There is something comforting about the warm glow shed by advertisements on cold wet winter nights. Few things could be more impressive than the peace that descends on deserted city streets at weekends when the thousands that travel to work every day are tucked away in their homes in the country(这个句子你很可能一掠而过,但是这里的结构同样是值得学习的: Few things could be more impressive than A其实就是A is more impressive than many things,但是这里一个小小的替换就避免了简单的称述句,这是那些句子很单一的同学们应该好好学习的). It has always been a mystery to me who city dwellers, who appreciate all these things, obstinately pretend that they would prefer to live in the country(漂亮的收尾,没有反对的词汇,却表示出了反对的意思,这也是结尾的一个很好的模版).

貌似是我一年以前考T时候在追梦看到的文章。。。